I Tried Wearing Padded Underwear For A Bigger Booty And This Is What Happened

Cuz there's no such thing as too much booty.

BuzzFeed Staff

Growing up, I associated womanhood with two things: 1) getting one's period, and 2) magically sprouting a curvier figure over summer break. Aunt Flo definitely came around, but the curves? Let's just say the ~metamorphosis~ wasn't as dramatic as I'd hoped for.

Between missing out on that body transformation and being a black girl who grew up in the golden age of ass-shaking songs and music videos (i.e. "the '99 and 2000s"), I've always had big booty dreams. But I'm also too lazy to squat unless I'm picking up some food I dropped, so I've had to master other booty hacks, like nailing the #sinkbooty pose and rocking short shorts (as demonstrated in the above pics).

The thick-sized pads retail for $5.50 each and claim to add "an extra boost on nights when you really want to stand out." And as far as color goes, I decided to get the panties in black because the nude option clearly didn't match my complexion.

I absolutely loved how big and juicy my booty looked, but I also experienced my first #bigbootystruggle: waist gap. That's what happens when the waist area of your pants/shorts/skirt doesn't fit properly around your actual waist because, tbh, most clothes aren't made for people who were blessed with booty. I had to strap on a belt and even poke a few extra holes in it with a kitchen knife so my shorts would fit properly.

Khwezi knows my booty because she's a true friend. So she immediately knew something was up and demanded that I let her smack it. I poked it out and obliged. Instead of a clapping sound, all we heard was a dull THUD THUD THUD. The jig was up! But being the real-ass homie that she is, Khwezi fully supported my decision to try out padded underwear for a curvier figure.

(FYI: If you're more worried about how your padding feels rather than how big your butt looks, you can opt for silicone padding instead. They have a more chicken cutlet feel and texture to them, but definitely look flatter than their thick foam sisters.)

I went with black again, because there was NO WAY their nude option was matching my melanin.

This pair was definitely my favorite of the two. The BubbleBuns were cool, but gave me more of a super-perky bubble butt (probably because I overstuffed the pads 😬), while these undies provided a softer apple-bottom shape that was much less attention-grabbing. So I felt much more comfortable and confident rocking these babies as a first-timer.

Okay, so I really wish I could have done a sneak booty attack on him like I did with Khwezi. But I'd already told him about the padded underwear trial before I even got them, so he was hip to my game when I casually filmed him and asked if he liked my dress. Smooth, Patrice!!! But he did say the padding looked natural and that he wouldn't have assumed it was fake if he wasn't already a Patrice booty expert, so there's that.

I'm big into twerking, whining, and all that good stuff, so I wanted to see whether the padding would feel awkward while I got my life. I'm happy to report that everything was good! No weird looks and no snickering!

Some guy even started dancing with me and I indulged him for a few minutes just to see if he'd notice. And guess what? He didn't! I know this because I dramatically revealed the secret to him ("I have something to tell you") and asked him if he'd noticed. According to him, my padded underwear felt like a real-life booty. "Two thumbs up," he said. Mind you, he was wearing denim pants, so I think if he were wearing thinner pants, he would have felt the firm padding.

Going into this experiment, I thought padded underwear was a scam of a concept that would have me looking like the poster child for bad booty surgeries. So I must admit that I was genuinely surprised and pleased with the actual results.

But funnily enough, this experiment really helped me to appreciate my lil' booty even more. I especially missed how it jiggled when I walked, and you don't get that with foam-padded underwear. In the end, I just couldn't get over the fact that they didn't feel or move like the real thing. And when it comes to beauty hacks, I prefer techniques that yield realistic results.

*You REALLY want a bigger butt. Know that there's much more to self-confidence than body image, but you totally have the right to experiment with your body and look. If padded underwear makes you feel good, it's definitely worth giving it a go.

* You're curious about getting a bigger booty and want to know what you'd look like with one, especially if you're considering surgical enhancements.

*You're willing and able to drop a couple dozen dollars on underwear.

*You want something that feels and moves like a real booty.

*You want something permanent that you won't have to put on and take off daily.

You can check out BubbleBuns Padded Bikini Panty at Bubbles Bodywear for $34 and Feel Foxy's Formed Butt Enhancer for $36.